I entered this poem in the Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry contest in 2017. I didn’t win anything, but at least I gave it a shot. Turns out none of the contest-winning poems are ever actually funny. Go figure.


The Legend of Slingy Parloo

‘Twas a long time ago (1872)

Starts The Legend of Slingy Parloo

A young man rode the range on his steed, Steely Blue

‘Twas the stallion of Slingy Parloo

And his fame went before him, as Fame oft will do

‘Twas the Legend of Slingy Parloo

For he wore not a gun, but a slingshot of yew

‘Twas the weapon of Slingy Parloo

And he used it to capture bad guys not a few

‘Twas the justice of Slingy Parloo

When he rode into town all the folks yelled “Yahoo!”

‘Twas the greeting of Slingy Parloo

For the bad guys were jailed and the terror was through

‘Twere good times for brave Slingy Parloo

And he said, “I know now just what I have to do!”

‘Twas the saying of Slingy Parloo

“I’ll go find me a gal with a heart pure & true!”

‘Twas the love quest of Slingy Parloo

So he set off again on his steed, Steely Blue

‘Twas the fine horse of Slingy Parloo

Over mountains, through valleys, in sun and rain too

‘Twas the journey of Slingy Parloo

‘Til he met a fair maiden named Lolly Lolou

‘Twas the woman for Slingy Parloo

And he asked for her hand as their love grew and grew

‘Twas th’engagement of Slingy Parloo

They were married one Sunday at quarter past two

‘Twere the nuptials of Slingy Parloo

 Then the pair settled down on a ranch filled with moo

‘Twas the homestead of Slingy Parloo

And soon Lolly gave birth to a baby boy, Stu

‘Twas the firstborn of Slingy Parloo

 Ere long more kids were added to this happy crew

‘Twas the fam’ly of Slingy Parloo

And our Hero made each one a slingshot of yew

‘Twere the weapons of Family Parloo

Then he taught them to sling rocks with aim straight and true

‘Twas the training of Slingy Parloo

Just in case a vile bandit or two might come through

‘Twas the worry of Slingy Parloo

Sure enough one dark day he saw bandits and knew

‘Twas the knowing of Slingy Parloo

There was trouble ahead, but he knew what to do

‘Twas the planning of Slingy Parloo

So when Rogue Rodger Dodger and gang came in view

‘Twere past captures of Slingy Parloo

 They were pelted by rocks slung from slingshots of yew

‘Twas the slinging of Family Parloo

Then Rogue Rodger Dodger yelped, “Boys, guess we’re through!”

‘Twas the ambush of Family Parloo

So the bandits turned tail and rode into the blue

‘Twas the victory of Family Parloo

And from then on our hero and family all knew

‘Twas the knowledge of Family Parloo

They were safe from all manner of hullabaloo

‘Twas the safety of Family Parloo

And their legend lived on as the children all grew

‘Twas the Saga of Family Parloo

So the story was hinged upon slingshots of yew

‘Twere the trademarks of Family Parloo

And it all started out with a young boy of two

‘Twas the childhood of Slingy Parloo

Who fashioned a slingshot from branches of yew

The first slingshot of Slingy Parloo

And practiced and practiced each day as he grew

‘Twas the training of Slingy Parloo

‘Til he mastered the weapon with aim straight and true

‘Twas the true skill of Slingy Parloo

And became a great lawman renowned the land through

‘Twas the Legend of Slingy Parloo!